He stated it in a tone that was so serious. I was about to leave for the first year at college.
It was so different from the other "advice" I had gotten as I said my farewells, and to this day is the only advice I remember ever receiving from my Papaw.
You see, anyone with my last name is held to a higher standard in my small, western-north carolina town. The standard being very much so because of my Papaw and his honorable and generous brothers and sisters. You would be correct in saying that they are people with integrity. However, he did not give this advice to me as if I were an heir to the respected name, but as if all people should count integrity as the backbone of their moral values.
Live with integrity.
Do the right thing, always.
Know what you believe.
Be honest.
Love others.
Two years later, I held his big, scared hands. They were farmers hands that had received much damage from pulling at weeds and thorns to receive a beautiful crop or bud that he always was willing to share. They were my Papaw's rough-skinned hands. The same hands I loved to watch hang bird-feeders, or pet that bobbed-tail cat that had picked this dog-loving person as "her" person. The same hands that could make the best apple stack cake you ever tasted. These rough hands I held were the same hands I had always expected to grasp as a "congratulations on your marriage" finds my ears. Or maybe the same hands that would once more place a train-track around the Christmas tree just to make a future great-grandchild jump and laugh when the whistle sounds.
Holding his hand that day in the ICU, I realized there was a lot in the real world that I didn't know, but in that moment I knew enough.
Live with integrity.
Do the right thing, always.
Know what you believe.
Be honest.
Love others.
We had just finished praying and were about to leave. I look down, so filled with emotions that I.. I don't know exactly what made me say it, but I do know that I'm glad I did. With such hopeful-joy I hear myself say, "Bye, Papaw. See you later." Even though I knew this would be the last time I ever saw him this side of heaven. Death would no longer be just a name.
Live with integrity.
Do the right thing, always.
Know what you believe.
Be honest.
Love others.
